We never know what’s around the corner, and so we can’t always be prepared for it. I read a report a while ago that found people are just as happy three months after most upsets in life (barring the major traumas such as death and divorce) than they were before the upset. That rings true to me, but each time we are in a state of upset, it seems all-consuming. And I think that’s meant to be the case.
I have counselling (talking therapy) once a month, because I believe in the power of talking, and the wiseness (is that even a word?!) of those who have studied the human mind and how we communicate. I think they must have seen and heard most things, and they’re able to give a calm, considered viewpoint, or, more often, to no give a viewpoint at all but just to listen.
The highs and lows of life never fail to fascinate me. It’s as though I can look in from the outside, watching my life like it’s on TV, and I can comment on it from the viewers viewpoint. True, I can’t always act on those comments! I tend to focus on the positive, and sweep the negative under the carpet. It’s a technique that’s served me well, I think, in my goal to be ‘happy’. The best description I ever heard of ‘happy’ is ‘the absence of searching for happiness’. A good friend learned on a course recently to ‘focus on the good micro moments’, and there are plenty of those.
I’ve always believed in the importance of having a good team around me and my horse, even though I haven’t always necessarily achieved it, depending on finances, knowledge, etc. I was surprised how resounding that message was from the contributors to ‘Understanding Horse Performance: Brain, Pain or Training?’ (https://www.thehorsephysio.co.uk/BPT/), to have a team around us that we trust and respect. As owners, we are the core of our horse’s team, the ‘manager’ I guess, and it’s up to us to pick the right team players.
And I think ultimately that’s what holds us up in times of difficulty. It’s the people around us we like, trust and respect. When I was struggling with something recently, I contacted a couple of people who I knew had been in a similar situation, and asked them what they suggested. The response was “Allow your friends to be there, you don’t have to do things on your own. Shout, and lean on your family.” Sage advice indeed. If we’ve got the right team around us, we are never on our own. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask.
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